Greatest Hits, Vol. I

Carli, on the acquisition of her new stuffed pig:

"We need to give the Pig a bris. Then we will have cookies and cake."

Joseph's response to "What are you listening to?"

"Pe-tah!" (insert British accent) "Petah Pan!"

Mom: "Carli, do you want to be punished?"

Carli: "Mom, I am going to punish YOU! You need a time out!"

Mom: "Joseph, did you have an accident?"

Joseph: "No"

Mom: "But your pants look wet..."

Joseph: "No mom, not by accident."

Joseph, after hearing mom sneeze:

"Mom, have a chocolate flower", handing over the tissue box with a brown flower on it.

Carli at the toy store:

"If you buy me this, I will only cry a little. If you buy me the better toy, I won't cry at all".

Mom: "Carli, did you have a good day today?"

Carli: "Yes, but mom?"

Mom: "Yes?"

Carli: "Please don't wear that sweater again, I really don't like it."

Mom: "Joseph, did you have a good day?"

Joseph: "No"

Mom: "Did you have a bad day?"

Joseph: "No"

Mom: "What kind of day did you have?"

Joseph: "A School Day"

Joseph: "Mom! A boo boo!"

Mom: "Where's the boo boo?"

Joseph points to fallen picture frames-

"Pictures have a boo boo!"

Mom: "Carli, you're such a beautiful princess in that dress!"

Carli: "Mom, I'm not a princess until all my jewelry is on!"

Joseph, upon his first successful attempt to stand up and make a #1:

"Ok mom, now buy me Thomas the Train".

"Daddy said we can go out to the Breakfast store tomorrow!" (The Diner)

Carli: "Mom, you're my favorite mom."

Wishing all of you a great Thanksgiving! We know what we're thankful for :)

Correspondence

Dear Mrs. Aboudi:

Thank you for your letter. We at Crayola are proud of our products and are happy to hear that you like our line of Color Wonder and its stain free properties. Unfortunately we do not offer color wonder cabinetry and we do not make food either. We don't know how to remove the pancake batter from your air ducts and drawers and suggest you seek help elsewhere.

Sincerely,

The Crayola Team.

Dear Mr. Aboudi,

Thank you for your letter. At this time we cannot lower your interest rates just because you have cute children, nor do we accept them as collateral.

Sincerely,

The Bank

Dear Mrs. Aboudi,

No, you may not borrow our jet packs. Our secret database reveals that you drive a minivan, and that should be sufficient for all your taxi services. Besides, we do not let any person under the age of 16 operate anything with an engine. Neither should you. What did you think motherhood was? All cute pictures and Laurie Berkner? Get comfy lady, you'll be in your car for years to come.

Sincerely,

NASA

Dear Mrs. Aboudi,

Stop browsing your friends' summer photos on Facebook. Your children are hungry.

The Facebook Team

Dear Mr. Aboudi,

As per our first letter, we cannot be of help. The video of your children singing "Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious" did provide entertainment, but we still cannot use them as collateral for your pending loan applications. We banks don't do cute.

The Bank

Dear Aboudi Family,

It appears as though you may qualify for the first round of auditions for our upcoming reality show, Survivor: The Toddler Years. Send another two hundred hours of video footage for review. Especially the toilet training bloopers.

Sincerely,

CBS

Attention: Carli Aboudi (minor) and Joseph Aboudi (minor)

At this time we cannot fulfill your request to legally change your names to "Cinderella" and "Thomas the Train". Even if mommy and daddy say you can.

The Social Security Administration

Dear Mrs. Aboudi,

No, we do not make trees with leaves that evaporate in the fall. It's called "Fall" for a reason. Buy a rake and a leaf blower like everyone else.

Sincerely,

The Department of Agriculture

Dear Mrs. Aboudi,

We would like to know more about Carli's imaginary spaceship. She keeps telling us that she wants "Calgon" to "take her away".

The Teacher

Dear Mrs. Aboudi,

Can you please lower the radio? We now know all the words to Jack Johnson's Curious George soundtrack and are really sick of hearing it.

The neighbors

Dear Internet:

Can you circulate a viral video that doesn't have something to do with "All The Single Ladies"? Thanks.

The Aboudis

Dear Loyal Readers:

Please welcome our newest baby: Speedpro Imaging of Monmouth County. Open for business! Link is to the right.

Jennifer, Danny, Carli and Joseph

Opportunities Available

Two adorable subjects seeking personal assistant:

Your full time internship will consist of many trips to playgrounds, theme parks and water oriented locations (and no, the sand never fully washes out). Prerequisites for said outings will require 50 pounds of food, drink and necessities. Whatever you omit will be the item you really need.

Disposable clothing recommended, for if you aren't swathed in the remains of an art project or meal, it might be necessary to use as a cloth when potty training regresses and only adds to whatever it is you might have stepped on a minute ago.

Must be able to subsist on little sleep- alarm clock not needed. Subjects will wake intern religiously at 6am by jumping on bed.

Must know all the lyrics to all Disney soundtracks, every song ever featured on "Jack's Big Music Show", and must be able to decipher all new songs as they are sung by subjects- tune accuracy a must. Must repel all mainstream tracks and defer subjects to alternative kids' tunes at least once a week. Must assist subjects as they update parents' itunes with various requests.

Must have a running knowledge of all ice cream parlors within four miles at all times. Must also be able to locate kosher pizza within 5 minutes of request and maneuver minivan through Jersey Shore summer traffic without screaming profanities and risk subjects repeating said profanities. (Lance Armstrong gracefully declined internship, claiming "Even I can't live that strong")

Under no circumstances can intern plan to finish a meal, use bathroom facilities alone, or have phone conversations lasting longer 12 seconds.

Interns must do laundry three times a day, cook meals with perfect protein/fat/vegetable ratios and plan to have them rejected for peanut butter pretzels and plain pasta.

Other multitasking requirements essential, such as the ability to text message while pushing both subjects on swings placed at least 20 feet apart, memorize the PBS kids rotation of Sid the Science Kid for recall in between the 3rd and 4th reading of Gerald McBoing Boing, The Grouchy Lady Bug and Chicka Chicka Boom Boom.

Will also be required to solve some of the universes' eternal riddles such as: Why does sunburn happen on zinc covered regions/where is that @#$% glitter glue/what are they smoking on the set of Yo Gabba Gabba?

Above all, intern must be able to live by the following oxymoronic mantra: "Why, despite this exhaustion, frustration, filth and delirium am do I feel like the happiest, most blessed person on the planet?"

Send all applications to the Bellevue Psychiatric ward, where parents have taken up permanent residency.

Let Threedom Ring!

Or the sounds of it, anyway.

Every now and then when we have a millisecond or two of spare time, we visit our blog archives.  Hard to believe that we go all the way back to 2005, and even harder to believe that we are honoring birthday number three in just a few days!

But when we come back to real time, the kids are streaming, and oh my, have they become good at it.  Mom and dad now have the cutest alarm clocks ever, as Carli and Joseph have graduated from "waiting for mom and dad to get them out of bed" to "Who says we have to wait for 

them?"  a.m. reveille.    And before we know it, Carli is jumping on the bed requesting her 3,568th viewing of Cinderella and Joseph is using mom's head as point A in an obstacle course.  

Never ones to shy away from a potential new audience, they really like to show off new talents.  Carli is taking requests at school while the others snack- she and her little keyboard provide the lounge act (you've never heard Old Macdonald like hers), and Joseph, who usually likes to play it cool, has suddenly become the official welcome wagon at home.   Don't come tired, as he will scream your name and make you run laps with him until he decides that you're done. 

And speaking of he and she making the decisions,  we've pretty much assumed passenger role in the "car" of family dynamics.   Carli will only make a potty stop when and if she's ready... and funny how she's usually ready when we've just passed the bathroom on a drive.  Or when Joseph decides that he is too cool for school pictures and refuses to pose for his pre-nursery portrait.  

To all our seasoned parental readers, you must be chuckling ever so as we enter the new era of childhood- threedom.  Sure, you're thinking, we whined about the twos?  Well, as we turn our previous verbiage into a meal and eat our carefully chosen words,  we hope that you (and especially us) have the fortitude to make this stage of the game as enjoyable as the others.   Sure, we might cringe for a week or two as Carli insists on needing a particular toy only when Joseph is playing with it, or when Joseph demands his 10th rice cake before 8am, but if we've learned anything from this division of the Aboudi conglomerate, it's that they make us better people every day.  

Looking forward to posting a few birthday snaps in a few weeks.  See you soon!

Increments

This blog is, if nothing else, a general chronology for all of us in one way or another.  But the other day one of Joseph's educators commented on an aspect of learning and coined it perfectly: "That's not even half of his life so far".  And it really brought home the notion that while us, as the authors, and you, as the reader enjoy the (more or less) monthly pace of our little newsletter,  we are really recounting such large portions of Carli and Joseph's life each time we take a break and come back.

Which brings us to present, and aside from the fact that the kids are still tripping over their Chanukah presents,  their accomplishments in the last few weeks do seem to have encompassed large portions of their lives.  

Carli is so happy to be enjoying her life without diapers, she'll show you her panties over the phone.  Just ask those who've already "seen" them!   Yup, with little fanfare and much pride our little miss is losing the little and gaining more miss.  (wait, her aim is pretty good.  Well, you get the point.)   Unfortunately, she offended Joseph when she ran to the toilet and slammed the door on him, screaming, "No, give me some privacy!"

And,  much to our delight (but heartbreak at that exact moment), from the other side of the door comes: "Nonny! I see Ayee!!!"   And while Joseph pined for his sister, we all collected ourselves at that moment and realized that months, actually, years at this point,  of guiding, illustrating and loving culminated at one emphatic, maturing moment.   

On the heels of his sister's momentum, Joseph is practicing sitting on the potty and screaming "yay" at Carli whenever the rest of us do, waiting and slowly plotting his own diaper free moment.  

And life at home has been terribly spoiled as we got  to enjoy Nana Sheila's unemployed status.  She's been around for a few weeks and the kids have access to a surplus of hugs, toys and sugar.  (we'd say the kids are eating more with her around, but for those of you who know them, that is simply not possible!)  

One thing Carli did figure out quickly was that the absence of mom yields more immediate gratification.  When she asked for a sweet snack after breakfast, mom said no, so she immediately said, "mom, can you leave?"  And ran to hug Nana's leg and stare at the cupboard.

And take our literary Joseph, who also likes being read to so much these days decided to pay it forward and read to Carli in the morning before he's summoned for a diaper change and breakfast.   And the idea that we have been reading to them for at least 80% of their lives was such a crazy notion to ponder- but the numbers don't lie.  

And now that mom has become a little more capable with her camera's video feature, we hope you like our new videos!  If you can't view them here, they're usually accessible via mom's facebook profile.  (add mom if you aren't already a friend).

We do have a big array to choose from, but we'll start of small for now and let the gallery grow- this way mom won't feel so bad if she's at a loss for words in the future.  As we are still in the experimental process, not all the videos may work.  We'll try and improve this for next time.

Or we can just listen to the latest verbiage to emerge from our gang (and NO, mom does not sneak into their room to subliminally implant words by reading the dictionary as they sleep).  Joseph's new musical instrument of interest is a hammered Dulcimer and Carli's favorite new amazonian animal, the pygmy marmoset. 

See you soon!

You Say Tomato...

Whatever Child Development Theory you may adhere to, one thing stands true:  No theory can replace the joy of practice in real time.  We have been delightfully witnessing the growth of language in all its regional glory.

Regional?  Just ask Carli, who is having fun pointing out that when mommy uses floss, daddy uses "flawss".  Or Joseph, who prefers to hold not one of his stuffed dogs, but two, insists that one is a dog and the other is a "dawg".  They are also having a blast creating lexicons for both sets of grandparents,  and both sets of grandparents are having just as much fun participating.  

As the conversation flows (and is usually centered around just who had the toy first...)  the household dynamic gaining comedic momentum faster than mom can say "I'm going to count to 3... give the toy back..."   Especially when Joseph will announce to anyone or anything that will listen that he's two, or when we have to remind him that his name isn't Carli, but Joseph.

When not engaged in some kind of verbiage,  our little musicians are waging a war of decibels- perhaps you've heard the early morning primal scream version of ABC?    No?  Hang on, you will.

We are especially delighting in their surge of compassion.  Now that they've been bonding with their classmates for a while, it's so cute to hear that Carli is happy that the new student "had a better day, she didn't miss her mommy so much", or that Joseph tried to hug a classmate after he fell down in the playground. 

We hope that the onset of the holiday season brings far more pleasure than pang.  (we're still recovering from our tryptophan comas) See you soon!

We're Back!

For the record, we didn't intend to morph into a quarterly blog.  We really meant to maintain a monthly pace, so thanks for your understanding and it means a lot that you missed us this much. (So with that, a Happy 5769, Happy Thanksgiving, make us proud President Obama, and everything in between).

Since we last posted so many changes have befallen our gang- Carli and Joseph have become official students.   It's hard to say what's cuter:  sending them off to their classrooms armed with backpacks that are practically larger than they are; or hanging up projects displaying all kinds of new talent.    Perhaps the hardest transition was mom getting used to shopping for food all alone and getting over the initial guilt of enjoying a few hours a day to herself.   (This guilt disappeared after a few minutes).

It's amazing what a few months bring to the life of a toddler.   Thankfully Carli and Joseph have never been adversaries to date, so we weren't really looking for them to play more together, but as their social development grows, they are really starting to appreciate a constant peer.  Especially when mom is watering the plants- they like to gather around whatever plant is being watered and do their happy dance, and when the just-mopped floors shine and scream:  First one to run and hit the wall gets a hug from mom!  Or when someone's spider senses figure out that there are fresh chocolate chip cookies in the house.    It's a real treat to see them randomly  hugging each other and conspiring to save a favorite stuffed toy from the bottom of the toy chest.   

Joseph still likes his quiet time, mind you, and his morning routine now consists of juice, shaken not stirred, a copy of The Three Bears, his rocking chair and Radiohead playing quietly in the background.  Mess with this routine at your own peril.

Carli likes to bond with Daddy before he catches the 7:15 am train, and be it offering moral support while he brushes his teeth or cocking her head while daddy checks the blackberry (but it doesn't look like a fruit...), she's all about instilling morale in our early morning household. "Have a great day Daddy!  We love you!"

As previously logged, Carli has been a steadfast mouthpiece for both her and Joseph for quite some time now.  And, as all of you seasoned child-rearers fortold,  Joseph's verbal  "tortoise"

is catching up quite nicely to Carli's "Hare".    It's taking mom and dad some time to realize that two opinions are being voiced now, and that they are vastly different.     So while mom tries to clone herself so Carli can get help with a bead necklace and take Joseph outside to play,  both kids make it clear that, yeah, they might share a birthday,  but sharing mom is not really what they signed up for.   Due to the technological constraints and limits of mom and dad, cloning has not yet been successful and the offspring are learning that sharing isn't just for photos on Facebook.   And luckily, they are very good sports.   And while it's hardly funny at the time, watching Joseph try to pry mom away from making dinner to put on "Elent"  (A fave DVD featuring elephants) while Carli tugs the other leg begging for help with her Play Doh Tower, retrospect provides a hearty laugh track.   And mom's minor leg muscles are grateful for the quasi-pilates experience.    

And with all the jabbering going on, we feel accomplished when we can have a phone call lasting more than a minute or finish a thought.   What's good is that Carli and Joseph are awesome at finishing the thoughts for us.   Cookies, anyone?

Say What?

Rule number one of all writing tasks: Avoid cliches. Or so mom has been taught. So while I try not to rack my brain searching for another way to say kids say the darndest things, consider this:

While the age of two is most commonly pegged as terrible (and often reinforced in this very blog), we'd like to revisit our comment and re-label the twos as highly bipolar. This month anyway. As always, Carli and Joseph are nothing less than their outstanding selves, yet we are experiencing a huge pattern of inconsistency.

While enjoying the benefits of being strong enough to climb ropes, Carli loves the big girl behavior to be rewarded with a snuggle in her blanket as "little baby Carli". Immediately after throwing a tantrum, Joseph likes to re-group by cleaning up and reading his favorite book.

While their listening skills are still quite mature, this month they've decided to improve on it; not by becoming better listeners but by thinking outside the mega-blocks. Carli knows that she can only eat her meals at the table while sitting, And no running around with food, but who said anything about drinks? And does one raisin count as one bite? And if you ask for a peanut butter sandwich for a snack, can you run wild with it? Furthermore, if they both do it at the same time and mom and dad are conveniently out of range, did it really happen at all?

Mr. Joseph has decided that third person is a great way to make a point. It took mom and dad a few days to realize that "Doses es nunuh" is "Joseph says NO NO!" And until the moment of eureka, Joseph just looked at us like we were trying to feed him dirty socks. He did however, expect Carli to decipher it immediately, as he so demonstrated by screaming at her and trying to run her over with her toy baby carriage.

All this being said, despite mom and dad's combined exposure (and occasional fluency) in English, French, Spanish, Hebrew, Arabic, Mandarin and Italian, nothing leaves us feeling more ineffectual than trying to decode our toddlers' lexicon.

But say the darndest things, they do. Joseph's latest offensive move is a loud "AH -neee" (I need). To which Carli usually asks him, hands on hips, "Just what DO you need, Joseph?"

Or when Joseph, who is constantly being bombarded with requests to say, or repeat things, looked at mom one day and instead of saying "mom", as she asked him to, just gave a wink and blew a kiss.

We hope that you are enjoying your summer as much as we are!

Current Events

And you thought you waited a long time last time!

Mommy's laptop got viral, and then the techies got overwhelmed and lost most of mom's data... It made the relationship with the computer a little resentful... the slow recovery process of lost data meant a heartbreaking amount of time just getting the thing up and running, it also meant a long wait for you. But welcome back and thanks for not disappearing!

We've been very TWO lately. Wild wicked tantrums that were probably the centrifugal force behind the flooding in the midwest... Mom and Dad taking turns dodging the next outburst(trying to escape to the aforementioned midwest thinking that anything would be more relaxing than all that yelling...)

But we've also been very beyond two. What's been so enlightening about this stage is that when the mature side of Carli and Joseph emerge, it's as though they are moonlighting as advisors to the Dali Lama. They can display impeccable table manners, cleanliness and a sweetness to rival mom's fantasy of being held hostage in the Ghiradelli Factory.

More than ever, they are really working the "twin" aspect. Carli was able to discern Joseph's progress at the playground- and after he used the small rock-climbing wall for the first time, she greeted him with "I'm so proud of you Joseph!, good job!" While getting used to their "own" table and chair set in the kitchen, Joseph likes to end each meal with a copycat game that usually involves him doing something creative with his big boy cup (liquid still inside) and encouraging his sister to do the same. Furthermore, they seem to find humor in the same thing at the same time- especially during car rides. It certainly helps ease the adjustment to all the summer traffic around these here parts. Nothing like giggling toddlers to abate road rage.

And speaking of summer, Joseph the beach dude has officially ranked as most fearless Aboudi in the waves. Never mind the chilly ocean water, the big kids, or even too many pebbles, he can sit by the surf until the sunscreen wears off.

New to the summer schedule is gymnastics, which Carli took to as quickly as crayons take to clean walls.

We know that we mention music frequently in our postings, it just always seems to be noteworthy. Lately Carli's musical radar seems to coincide with mom and dad's sinus headaches- and out comes the xylophone/piano, and verses of Happy Birthday are still resonating in our heads from three weeks ago.

As we adjust to the adjusting, we reassure ourselves that two doesn't last forever, and that the crazy is nicely balanced with the serene (yay for early bedtimes!) and that the little people we call Carli and Joseph manage to keep us laughing even while we're wishing for sleep-ins and playrooms that clean themselves up at the end of the day.

Again, apologies for the long wait. We hope you're enjoying the warm weather and all the fun things that come with it!

PS- Congratulations to Uncle Jordan who opened the doors to Crossfit Whistler's official new home. Link up (on the right) and check out all the happenings for yourself!

TWO!

As in, we've kept you waiting "two" long... Hoo boy. Sorry for that. The bad joke. And the delay.

So...

There are two two year olds living here, and it seems like there are twenty of them. This isn't such a horrible inflation when you consider that with the frustrating outbursts come newfound affection. While we'd much rather not be scraping applesauce off the ceiling fan, Carli and Joseph's unanbashed remorse of causing such a fracas equals immediate redemption.

It's hard so say who does it better: Carli, miss verbal, will give big eyes, lean into frustrated parent and say, "Mommy's/Daddy's here. Mommy/Daddy so pretty/handsome..." Or actions-speak-louder-than-words Joseph, who will also widen eyes, but will jut lower lip out and lean into that nook in your shoulder so perfectly you wonder if you've had this appendage all your life. And look up at you every 20 seconds or so just in case you forgot how cute he is.

Then there's those moments when you think you know the little person next to you, and then you get a glance at how dimensional they really are. Joseph has established such a routine at school that all you need to do is look at the clock, and he will be in the same area at the same time each day. One recent morning, mom checked the book corner and he was absent- suddenly, he runs up to mom, book in hand. Without even thinking, mom asks, "what is that?", to which Joseph looked up without blinking and said "nanana" while pointing to a banana. Then he sat and read, and pointed to each object that mom and teacher asked him to. And with each "yay" directed at him, he met it with a "um, what do you think I am? 18 months?!" look.

Or when Carli, who is always up for trying a new food, screamed at Daddy for the unforgiveable offense of putting ketchup on her omelette.

And not ones to keep the comedy at bay, Carli and Joseph have been making the most of their bathroom visits- at least the ones that involve mom and dad. Bringing a whole new meaning to "waste management" (Tony Soprano free, of course), mom's latest humbling moment was breaking up a fight and soothing the "first un-winner"* while, um, otherwise occupied.

(just in case any of you thought that we were trying to make this job seem effortless and glamourous)

Proud to say that celebrating two years was a huge success, with lots of family and close friends to help us eat the 400 slices of pizza we picked up. Not a tantrum was heard and grins were a-plenty. Ah, maturity!

Maybe it's the maturity that can only come from existing for more than 730 days, but it seems as though Carli and Joseph really know that they're growing up. Carli found an old box of baby toys and quickly dismissed it as being "for baby", and Joseph really wants to do the puzzle by himself, thank you. Talk to his hand.

For those of you partaking in Passover this year, a meaningful and happy holiday to you. For all of our devoted bloggees, we are, as always, grateful for your readership.

Bye for now!

*Bringing a whole new level of positivity to those who aren't the winners. Help us before we start using terms like, "Timing deficient personal waste incident" and "Excessive Elmo Exposure syndrome"

Keeping Our Cool...

Before we begin our usual rants we have a few things to address.

We are encouraging all of our readers to look to the right and link up.

First- Uncle Jordan has been host to many a hair quandry, and now he's taking his folicular talents to a very selfless level. Support his "balding for Dollars" which not only ensures that we'll get to see his scalp come April, but that kids who are dealing with the brave quest of battling cancer can get as much help as we can give them. Carli and Joseph have already donated to the cause and hope to coax you to do the same.

If you prefer some immediate gratification with your charity, then all you Montrealers have to get to m:brgr asap! What happens when you combine outstanding food, a great atmosphere, with 5% of all profits going to Montreal Childrens Charities? A very satisfied tummy and soul. What are you waiting for? Check out their link. To the right...up a little... go on...we'll still be here when you are done browsing...

Welcome back!

Wow, almost two. Hard to believe that 23 months have passed with our spritely pair, but due to their pitch-perfect stage-hitting talents, there is no mistaking that two is a very busy and unpredictable number. High on the priority list is keeping cool- for mom and dad at least. Perhaps the most challenging is staying calm NOT while the tantrums are erupting, but while self-expression is taking place.

At this point we've learned to tune out the tantrums; but what we're still learning is how not to laugh when Joseph and his budding vocabulary use clenched fists, a very loud DDAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! and stomping feet to say something like: "Get those stupid waffles off my plate!"

Or not completely melting when Carli begs to bring her stuffed animals into the bathtub; with pouts and puppy dog eyes pleas to throw them into the bubbly water.

Or not cracking up when Joseph resembled a slingshot running into mom and dad's room and hitting the bed with such force he bounced back at least two feet. (His recovery was immediate; we are grateful there were so many pillows around so we could hide our faces with them...)

Or not screaming back when Carli plays backseat DJ in the car and screams for the 25th repetition of her favorite song...

Well, the upside is that mom and dad can now probably "method actor" to our already diverse parenting resume.

And then there's the obvious upside of getting to spend lots of time with them. Which involves a lot more laughter than keeping it cool. Aside from enjoying their verbal talents, there's the personality vault that opens a little more each day. When Joseph gives a wink and a nod, you know he's just run off with a cookie that belonged to Carli. Or when Carli starts kicking up her right leg, she's trying to copy the famous "Daddy Dance".

Well, we're going to take a few deep breaths and gear up for Birthday #2. We hope to see you next month!

Ringing in the new year!

Happy 2008!

We hope you are all doing well. We've been a busy bunch since our last posting.

We would have posted sooner, but the petri dish that is toddlerhood prevented our general productivity. For the record, when we say that we like to be good hosts, we mean good hosts to people, not germs and other things icky. Alas, we saw few people and lots germs and ick. We are hopefully seeing the end of this round and hope that this is the beginning of a healthy month! (But if our calculations are correct, the next round of sickness should be in a couple of weeks when we all feel great!!!)

Having said that, we also waited for the cabin fever to dissipate before sending salutations, or our tone might have sounded far less pleasant...! For a few weeks, it seemed like we were back in the land of newborn. Lots of late-night fever interventions, lots of random tantrums, and lots of mom and dad pining for random trips to Starbucks by ourselves... somewhere in Mississippi...

But, onto more informative and enjoyable topics:

We are proud to have logged airborne miles on our first family trip to Florida and even prouder that the only reason Carli and Joseph got noticed on either flight was due to their charming presence. Bravo to our traveling brood and we look forward to racking up frequent flyer miles as a family! (we do not, however, look forward to the subsequent traveling bills.) A lot of folks have inquired about the kids favorite part of the trip, and while the time with grandparents and great-grandparents was the most rewarding and memorable , hands down it was... puddles. The Florida weather was typical and treated us to a lot of sunshine with the occasional shower. Said showers yielded large and lovely puddles outside of Bubbie's condo... and a convenient playground! Good thing Carli and Joseph packed their crocs.

(administrative note: please email Jen if you'd like to see our Florida slidedshow. At 160 pictures, we did not want to send it out unsolicited, but we would love to share it if you're interested.)

While this was not our first Chanukah as a foursome this was the first Chanukah that impacted all of us. From watching Joseph giggle while the dreidel spun to Carli happily distinguish the chanukah candles from the Shabbat ones, it was a real family holiday. And somehow they caught onto the "present" concept very quickly.

Ever the musical duo, Carli and Joseph are perfecting their latest duet, "Old Macdonald". You may recall from previous posts that this is no new tune for them, but brand new is their adorable collaboration:
Carli: "Ol don hava farm"
Joseph" Eyayayayayayaya".

As soon as we can tape it, we'll post it for you. But you know how little people are... as soon as the recording device shows up, they manage to locate their elusive mute buttons.

As we are rounding the corner to Birthday #2 (gulp!), we are enjoying the thrill of communicating with Carli and Joseph as they hit new strides each day. We hope to see you soon and you can revel in the experience yourself!

Have a great month and keep those germs away! (Especially away from us!!!!!)

Perspectives 2.0

If you hold a wet wipe in front of Carli, she will yell "all clean!" and try to wipe herself... and will wipe her hair and miss her face.







If you hold a wet wipe in front of Joseph, he will stare at it until you do something with it.



Upon entering her classroom, Carli will seek out the art project.



Upon entering the same classroom, Joseph will seek out his favorite toy and make sure no one else gets hold of it. Following acquisition, heaven help you if you cross his path.



When at home, when faced with a room filled with activities, Carli will name the objects she sees and will usually settle on a book.


In the same situation, Joseph will ensure that all doors and drawers are closed and properly aligned. He will then look for the toy that sings "Old MacDonald" and E-I-E-I-O along with it.


When holding a marker, Carli will give it a taste test (and mom will be grateful for non-toxic ink).



When holding a marker, Joseph will shake it and eventually get rid of it as it makes no music.


Both however, will produce lovely artwork. Eventually.


When faced with a rainy afternoon, offspring will think, "Here we go!! Pillow Forts! Races up the stairs!"


When faced with the same afternoon, parental units will think, "Is it bedtime yet?"




When faced with dinnertime, mom will hope that tonight's the night for take out. Conversely, dad will lament, "how much will this cost me?"

If however, dinner will originate at home, dad will think, "Ah, the fruits of breadwinning... there's nothing like a home cooked meal." And mom will think, "How long will it take me to clean up this mess?"

When faced with the exurberance that can only come from people under the age of 3, mom and dad humbly acknowledge that despite little sleep, the days fly by faster than the rising price of gasoline. And like most of our precious resources, we should enjoy what we have while we still have it.

We hope you have a happy and healthy turkey feast!!!

Back To School

For all of us.

Okay, clarification. New to School for Carli and Joseph, back to school for mom and dad. Just when we thought that we knew a thing or two about a thing or two, enter two talented and strong willed toddlers. After many months of basking in relative independence, Carli decided that nothing can be done without mom. Even mom's trips to the loo. And Mr. predictable Joseph sent us back to the culinary drawing board when all of his usual favorite foods became objects of contempt.

Thus we begin the latest chapter in our work in progress, "Ha! The terrible twos arrive earlier than two! That's why they're so terrible!" (Not the kids, the concept.)

But school you ask? Sort of. To avoid a general sense of toddler ennui, Gymboree is being supplemented with classes at their future school. Mom's still part of the student body, as are all the other moms with their little people in the class.

From Carli and Joseph's perspective, it's a cool new room with toys, new eyes to poke, a new teacher to smile at and cool new foods for lunch. (Eating said food is entirely optional) It's also a chance to see older cousins in their classrooms and look forward to the day when they can check mom at the door.

From Mom and Dad's perspective, it's school all over again (how do I look? Who are the cool kids? Math... yikes!) and a huge reminder that even though days tend to drag on at times, the popsicle we call time is melting, and fast!

We are also proud of how well our darling duo travels. So much, in fact, that we plan to up the travel ante in the next few months and really see what they're made of. So far they make driving at night more than just setting the cruise control; they quietly sing along to the music and play footsie games with skills far beyond their months. But seriously, we are looking forward to our first plane ride as a foursome and fun weekends in Brooklyn to round out the fun times we enjoy north of the border. More updates on those as they approach.

On another note, we are continually grateful for your readership. And it means a lot that what we have to say means something to you. If you glance to the right (scroll up just a bit), you'll notice a couple of links that we hit on a regular basis. If you'd like your place in space to be part of that list, please let us know! (All subjects welcome, but we are a family site, so please keep it clean) We would be happy to connect what's important to you with people that may not already know about it.

Mwah!

A Loss for Words

You would think that with all the chatter going on here there would be more to convey. There is, but you'll have to pardon the tired bloggers.







In this house, we expend our energy in a few different ways. One seems like a sprint. Another is a jog uphill. Or, there is the uphill sprint. The past few weeks have been a continuous uphill sprint. With ankle weights.


Much of the cerebral discoveries this month have been for mom and dad. And in the nature vs. nurture debate, nature is kicking some serious bee-hind:

• Carli's divvy is quite a source of comfort for her. Why she calls her blanket a divvy is not really the focus; but that she calls it a divvy when mom called hers a dubby many moons ago is thought provoking.

• Just how Joseph manages to grab the prosterior of the cutest mom at the playground (present company excluded, ahem) without looking up from the ground is probably part of a secret pact made with him and dad and all other species who appreciate the female form.

• How Carli seems to know the difference between a bangle and a bracelet...

We have also learned to measure time in a consequential manner, as opposed to standard chronology. If you plan to eat a cookie without sharing, you have exactly 3 seconds to do so without be sniffed out. If you communicate with proper manners and gestures, you have can go all day without being imitated. If you have a profane moment, exactly 3.2 nanoseconds will pass before Carli or Joseph are replicating.

As for words, they are flooding our home faster than protesters were lining galleys of The United Nations and Columbia University this past week. We are so proud of "caw-ee" and "jofa" as they try and turn morphemes into communicable transmissions. Please stop by and join us for "mik-koh" (cold milk) and "SSSSSAA!" (pizza) anytime. Save room for "coooo-ky[s]" (cookies). Don't touch the "hosss" stove or you'll get a boo boo. But if you do, we'll give you a bemmeh (band aid).

And may the Autumnal Equinox shower you with foliage and the smell of crisp apples.

D'oh!

Sorry, it had to be done. No way can an opportunity to simpsonize our two favorite characters pass us by.

And these days life is like a huge comedy series anyway. Maybe there's too much reality TV out there, maybe it's parental paranoia, but it seems like there are surveillance cameras watching our house of comedy. In case you missed the secret screening (reward offering to snitches) , a brief overview:

-An entire roll of paper towels will float when thrown into a filled bathtub. It will also gain about 20 pounds performing all of its absorbing duties.

-A tablespoon of cream cheese can magically morph into a gallon when you spread it onto a bagel and offer it to a 17 month old. Said gallon can also cover a child in about 3.4 seconds.

-10 hours of sleep can feel like only 20 minutes. Transversely, a child who only sleeps for 20 minutes can be so refreshed and energetic that she appears to have slept 10 hours.

-Just like computers are telepathically programmed to slow down and/or crash when you need them to be the most efficient, little people are designed to be telepathic when you least expect it. "Mommy, meemee Jofa" uttered Carli when we passed the pharmacy, reminding mom to procure meemee (medicine) for Jofa (Joseph).

-Strawberry flavored applesauce apparently tastes far better when it's being licked off a wall. A pristine, beige wall.

- When faced with two identical cupboards, little people always know which one holds fragile contents before even attempting to open the child friendly one. And somehow a favorite toy stuffed inside child-friendly cupboard becomes inconsequential. Just what their plans are for the 8x10 crystal photo frame, are apparently privy to only Carli and Joseph.

-Broccoli only tastes good in other peoples' homes.

-And finally, clouds are also telepathic, as they know just when a fresh layer of sunscreen has been applied, and roll in on cue. Either that or they enjoy watching moms and dads slap their foreheads.

And from the Joseph Jabber and Carli Chatter corner:

"Obeedee": Octopus- Carli

"Ellelelelel": Elephant- Carli

"Aye!": Yes- Joseph

"Mum mum mum": anything but mom- Joseph

For those of you ringing in 5768, A sweet, healthy and prosperous new year. And to everyone who appreciates partaking in the venting of voices inside our heads, we are grateful you're back for more!

Pardon The Interruption...

As fate (or karma, or whatever cosmic force butters your toast) stepped in with a jab or two.

The past month left us with little time to feel bored- with visitors, activities, and Dad's accelerated travel schedule we were all agreeing that whoever coined the phrase "lazy days of summer" did not live in a universe that included jobs, children, friends and family, apparently.

As Carli and Joseph made the brave transition from "spectators of bodies of water" to enthusiastic little swimmers, we find ourselves proud and downright pooped. Yes, the bike rides to and fro didn't exactly make the process leisurely, but seeing two little faces peering out from bike helmets provided plenty of entertainment while we fought with our bicycle gears. And the giggles as the kids splash around in the water makes the fatigue seem moot.

And true to the doctrine of one mom, "the fatigue never really goes away, it just bounces between mental and physical" we learned that leaving the room without warning anyone under the age of 2 can result in two-hour meltdowns. Which eventually results in lots of wine consumption after bedtime.

Both fun and new for mom and dad is Carli and Joseph's budding vernacular. Please be sure to have plenty of "NUMMY NUMMY!" to share with Carli (food), and please keep the ESA-UH (Baby Einstein) on regular rotation for Joseph.

Look our new feature, Carli Chatter and Joseph Jibber each month as they eagerly make a collage out of the english language.

Which brings us to our report of the interruption. Our brave little Carli's right eyebrow had a full frontal altercation with a corner on a drawer... and four hours in the emergency room, vomiting all over the waiting room, and three stitches later she emerged tired and sewn up. The president of Irony Inc. is applauding the fact that this said drawer is locked up for the other 23 hours and 59 minutes of each day.

Joseph was a total trouper as he hung out with his aunties and cousins- and waited patiently for the storm to pass. We think dad was hit the hardest, as he had to hear this news while he was in transit from Fresno to Phoenix. We are pleased to report that everyone is recovering quite well.

Joseph, also known as DJ Stillwater, is preparing for his upcoming club dates. A recent activity in music class that involved a disco ball and lights left him panting after laughing so hard... and between his drumming and DJing (he is now "mixing" the musical table jingles with the singing book tunes, pretty darn well we must say) we just hope that mom and dad are even considerably cool enough to enter whatever club he marquees. Then again, we can't imagine that owner and overall boss Carli would block our entry. Ah, the joys of disillusionment.

We hope that you are enjoying your summer days as well! See you next month :)

Summer Fun!

Welcome to Summer!

Welcome to the whirlwind that is our home these days. With equal parts delight and exhaustion, we are thrilled to announce that all Aboudis residing at our home are prone and using only their feet to move. The walking has begun!!!!!

So have the summer activities, which are all in the start-up phase. Our first swimming pool experiene was a total success, if you omit the use of the actual pool. Carli was a huge fan of running in the grass around it, and Joseph took quite well to the fountains. As for the water, we apologize. The piercing screams have stopped and you can all remove your earplugs.

We also enjoyed our first family outing to the local safari park. Mom and Dad drove around the park in awe of the wildlife display. Almost tried to adopt the giraffe who grazed the van. Carli and Joseph were thrilled at the experience of their first... taste of chips. Apparently, when one is privy to baby einstein viewings of wildlife, and when ducks, geese, birds, dogs and cats practically reside in your own backyard it's almost a given that you will see a Zebra saunter by your window before you turn two. And thus their enjoyment was evident, but we think they were all smiles because Mom and Dad kept Jack Johnson in rotation on the van's CD player.

We also think we've tapped into a great way to improve technology. We've noticed that computer innards are constantly trying to improve process speed and multi-tasking ability. May we kindly suggest that you add a "parent" chip to all hardware, this will ultimately guarantee not only a multi-tasking machine, but a multi lingual, multi activity strong yet sensitive thing. If they could allocate Dad's ability to soothe a tempermental Carli while shaving, and mom's ability to cook a three course meal while bathing Carli and Joseph, we think that machines would surpass most human capacity. Then again, we don't need any more machines to rely on. As Carli and Joseph often remind us, a hug is usually the most effective approach to problem solving. And we don't want a machine doing that for us.

We hope you'll stay tuned as we embark on more summer firsts:

Going to the Beach- Just how nutritious is all that sand the kids are eating?

Riding bikes with mom and dad on our new seats- should we believe the parental units when they claim that they're going slow for our safety? Or should they just admit to how out-of-shape they really are?

For these and more Aboudi nonsense, we hope you'll be back soon.

Perspectives

If you give Joseph a spoon, he will study it for ten seconds, throw it on the floor and proceed to do so for as long as the excedrin supply lasts.

If you give Carli a spoon, she probably won't think much of it until she sees said spoon in Joseph's hand.

If you give Danny a spoon, he will use it to raid the fridge and attack anything on Jen's plate. And leave it somewhere in the den.

If you give Jen a spoon, she will clean it, organize it with like spoons, ensure that all are facing south, then organize entire drawer so that all its contents are symmetrical. Following that, she will use it to reward herself with a Haagen Dazs product. She will then repeat the process.

If the sun is shining, then Carli and Joseph think, "Woo Hoo! To the swingset, mother vessel!"
Danny thinks, "Getting my money's worth on the swingset"; and Jen thinks "Ugh! Now I have to apply all that sunscreen..."

When our friendly neighborhood geese and their newly hatched goslings trot around the lawn, Carli thinks, "wow..."
Joseph thinks, "Um, can we please go back to the swings?"
Jen thinks, "The stunning cycle of life, represented by multiple mammals, isn't the planet, (sniff) just beautiful?"
Danny thinks, "D'oh! More goose poop all over the lawn!

When Carli starts cruising from the couch to the table, she thinks, "If I could only reach the phone, I could call Nana and get her to feed me cookies every five minutes".

When Joseph cruises from the table to the couch, he thinks, "If I could reach the remote control I could keep Baby Einstein on constant feed. And I could have a couple of those aforementioned cookies that Carli is procuring."

Danny thinks, "I'm watching too much Family Guy. I think we're raising Stewies."

Jen thinks, "Is it naptime yet?!"

And you're thinking, "Does a mother's omnipitence really allow her access to her whole families' thoughts?" Moms, you know it does. Hope you had a superb Mother's day.

Love, the Aboudi Circus

1.1

To our math teachers who promised that math would indeed apply to real life: We sheepishly bow our heads in agreement. And with an apology or two, as it seems as though we are awfully digit-focused in our blogosphere.

In reviewing recent postings, it is painfully clear that either I need a week-long writers workshop or a crash course in new perspectives. I think what's been happening to our brains is a strange justification. While trying to describe the galactic sense of wonder I am compensating with lots of numbers to quantify an otherwise qualitative experience.

Because as hard as we try to specify the millions of nuances that Carli and Joseph are comprised of, we end up saying pretty much what everyone else says: "They're amazing!"

While they are in fact amazing, they are so much more, rendering the thesaurus a mediocre tool for such extraordinary subjects.

But enough about mom and dad. Let's get back to the math. The "I turned 1" switch flipped and the developmental graphs are displaying staggering results.

Carli, mobile for at least the last four months now, has her progress moving at a steady rate. To date she is pulling herself up, cruising, free standing for a few seconds at a time. We no longer change her diapers or clothing, we wrestle with her until one of us is covered in desitin paste and/or pulling on clothes at random praying that eventually limbs will end up in their designated spot.

While Joseph is doing exactly the same; his graph went from plateau to spike- and what took Carli three months to master he has decided to compact into a four week span.

All this to say that the "gym at home" is providing harder workouts. If only we could translate all these burned calories into chiseled abs!

And around again to the abstract: Books and more books ("boo"). We are now entering the learn by repetition (and practically lose your marbles reading a particular tome for the 40th time) phase. We are enjoying some preliminary results; Carli is quick to recognize an "ana" (banana); and Joseph is quick to identify that the bees will buzz when he turns to a certain page. That or he really enjoys how ridiculous mom and dad look when we "buzz" and "moo". But we are happy to suffer for our art.

Finally, self expression above all: Carli's rapid fire exclamations fly out with the rhythm of a jackhammer; "Hemma, hemma, bub, bub". That explanation hardly does justice to the absolute deliciousness of it, but that's the general idea. Joseph's gurgles, screams and grunts have more tones than our Elmo guitar. If only we could translate those into adjectives, we might stand a chance of conveying our enthusiasm accurately.

Happy April. One question, what the heck does April snow bring?